


You're Not Alone Anymore

by okay_klepto



Series: The Many Adventures of Shiro and Keith [5]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Crying, Hints of Mental Illness, Keith just needs someone to love him, Lance is the best friend Keith could ask for, M/M, Modern AU, Non-sexual redressing, Non-sexual stripping, shiro is a good bf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-04
Updated: 2017-03-11
Packaged: 2018-09-28 05:18:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10073810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/okay_klepto/pseuds/okay_klepto
Summary: Shiro can tell something is wrong after their date.  Keith hasn't been feeling the greatest but doesn't want to tell Shiro.  He finds out the hard way and give Keith the well needed shoulder to cry on.Pt 1 is Shiro's POVPt 2 is Keith's POV





	1. Shiro

**Author's Note:**

> Time together: 4 months

   Shiro drove down East Main Street with Keith riding beside him.  It was dark out, the light from the street lamps reflecting off the damp pavement.  Music softly played inside the car - classical.  Earlier that evening, Shiro had taken Keith out to a nice restaurant and then to a show, which they had both enjoyed.  Shiro had planned the evening as an apology and redemption for all the late nights that he had had to stay up working, causing him to miss dinners and movie nights with Keith.  Too many times he had rushed to Keith’s apartment only to find that the meal had been eaten or movie half watched, with Keith either staying up by himself or already sleeping soundly.

   Tonight was different.  Shiro had gone out of his way to make sure he wouldn’t have to work and that Keith would be available.  Everything had started out perfectly.  Shiro arrived on time, looking dapper as always.  Keith looked just as good and Shiro made sure he knew that.  They went and ate at a new restaurant that had opened up on Fifth Avenue and then went the theatre down the block to see _The Pirates of Penzance,_ which Keith thoroughly enjoyed.  He was all smiles and laughter up until now.  Now, he looked out the car window without a word.  The drive was about 20 minutes to get back to Keith’s apartment and Shiro didn’t want that entire time to be them in silence.

   “You enjoyed the show?”  Shiro asked, trying to get a smile on Keith’s face.

   “Yeah...” Keith stirred slightly and continued to look out the car window.

   “Are you feeling alright, babe?”  Shiro did his best to keep his eyes on the road, but he was much too concerned about Keith’s mood.  Luckily the roads were practically deserted.

   “Just tired.”  Keith turned and gave Shiro a half-hearted smile before quickly looking away and back out the window.  His eyes seemed empty and his body looked weak.  His pale skin looked paler and more fragile, as though his life was being drained out.

   After another few minutes of driving, Shiro pulled up to the front of Keith’s apartment complex.  He turned off the car engine and reached down to unlatch his seatbelt.

   “You just stay here.  I can let myself in.”  Keith spoke quickly while gathering up his jacket.

   “It’s not a big deal, it won’t-”

   “It’s fine.  I had a nice evening.”  Keith opened the car door and began to step out.

   “Keith, I should-”  Shiro made a small movement to get out of the car.

   “Just stay.  I don’t want you getting wet, it’s started to rain some.”  With that, Keith stepped out of the car and onto the sidewalk.  “Thank you, Shiro.  I’ll see you tomorrow.”

   Shiro watched as Keith closed the door and hurried up the staircase to the door to his building.  He watched as Keith dug in the pockets of his coat for his key while pushing the lobby door open.  He watched as Keith disappeared around a corn inside the building.  Shiro could tell something was off.  Keith was too quiet and moved to sporadically.  Half of Shrio wanted to get out of the car and go make sure Keith was alright, but the other half wanted to give Keith the space he seemed to have asked for.  Shiro and Keith hadn’t been dating long, and the last thing Shiro wanted was to come off as overbearing.  He sat in the car a little longer, listening to the steadily increasing rain hit the car.  After a moment of consideration, Shiro buckled his seatbelt again and turned on the car engine.

   It was a solid 35-minute drive from Keith’s apartment to Shiro’s in good traffic.  Now, Shiro had to navigate his way out of the tangle of streets that lead to where Keith lived.  Luckily, having driven the maze quite a few times so he could manage to get out on his own, but having Keith there to remind him where to turn always make him feel better.

    _Go straight until you reach Elm, make a left then the first right onto Sunset Boulevard… Elm… Left… Right… Sunset…_ Shiro carefully watched the street signs go past.  Some were difficult to read because of the dim streetlights.  How Keith managed down here, Shiro had no idea.  This wasn’t exactly the most desireable area to live in, but Shiro knew there were much worse places.  Just as he stopped and prepared to turn on to Sunset Boulevard, he heard a familiar buzz from the center console.

   “Dammit,” Shiro leaned down and picked up what had made the noise.  “Keith left his phone.”

   That’s not Keith.  Keith never left things behind, especially his phone.

    _I should return it…_ Shiro thought.  He looked at the car clock.   _But it’s late… But he’ll wonder where his phone is in the morning… He’s probably sleeping… Just slip it under the door…_

   Shiro sighed and made a U-turn to go back to Keith’s apartment.  After a few minutes, Shiro made it back and parked his car on the other side of the road.  It had begun to rain harder.  What used to be barely a drizzle had turned into a light shower.  Shiro grabbed Keith’s phone and prepared himself to cross the street.

   Shiro scampered across the road and reached the front of Keith’s apartment building.  A old man smoking a cigar outside the building watched as Shiro entered.

    _Apartment number… apartment number…_ Shiro remembered what floor Keith lived on - 8 - but not the room number.  812?  821?

   Shiro bustled down the hallway, examining each door for a sign that it might be Keith’s.  He remembered the door having something odd about it… what was it?

    _Bingo!_  Keith’s door had a silver handle, until all of others which had gold.  Shiro knocked on the door, thinking that perhaps Keith was still awake.  No response.  For some reason, Shiro tried the handle, though he knew it would be… _Open?_

   Very unlike Keith.  He never left his door unlocked, regardless how long he would be in or out.  He chain lock wasn’t even fastened.  Slowly, Shiro opened the door to Keith’s dark apartment.

   “Keith?”  Shiro cautiously entered and shut the door, locking it.  “It’s me, Shiro.  I have your phone.”

   As Shiro began to walk further into Keith’s apartment, he stepped on something soft.  Keith’s jacket?  In the middle of the floor?  Keith never left clothes thrown about.  More worry began to grow inside of Shiro.  He slipped off his shoes and hung up Keith’s jacket before continuing to walk.  No lights were on in the sitting area or the kitchen, though a half full glass of water was sitting on the counter.  All was quiet, save the hum of the refrigerator.

   “Keith?”  Shiro whispered into the darkness.  He thought he heard a noise.

   Shiro ventured further.  Keith had a plug-in night light in the hallway to illuminate the path.  Shiro passed a few doors then stopped and listened.  He could hear a faint sound, as though someone was… laughing?  Or maybe…

   “Keith, are you in here?”  Shiro opened the last door down the hallway - Keith’s bedroom.  The faint glow of the light in the hallway was just enough for Shiro to make out a figure lying on the bed.  It was Keith, that was for sure.  He was lying on his side, back facing the door.  His head was turned into a pillow and his knees were bent and brought closer to his chest.  His hands were tucked under the pillow and every so often his shoulders would shake, followed by a clench of his abdomen and a tremor that slid through his entire body.

   “Keith, are you alright?  You left your-”

   Upon hearing Shiro’s voice, Keith lifted his and turned to look over his shoulder.  “S-Shiro?”

   It was hard for Shiro to make out the expression on Keith’s face.  His voice was quiet and shaky, barely audible to Shiro from across the room.

   “Hey, what’s going on?  Are you okay?  You left your phone in my car.”  Shiro set the phone down on dresser and took a few steps closer to Keith, closing the door.  “I’m sorry for intruding.”

   “N-no, it’s.. It’s fine.  Thank you.”  Keith pushed himself up off the bed some and turned his face away from Shiro.  “I… I was going to… to sleep.”

   Shiro scowled.  “In your nice clothes?”

   “I was- I just-” Keith began to tremble.

   “Keith?  Are you okay?  It’s alright-”

   “I’m fine!”  Keith sat up and gripped the comforter.  “I’m fine!”

   “Keith-”

   “Just- just leave me alone!  I’m fine!”  Keith’s head sunk and he hid his face.  “I’m fine…”

   Shiro hurried over to Keith’s bed and sat down at the foot of the bed.  He leaned in trying to get a better look at Keith’s face.  Shiro reached out.  “Keith?”

   “I said I’m fine!  Just - Just leave-”  Keith’s shoulders began to shake and he gripped the blankets until his knuckles turned white.  Tears began to slide from his eyes.

   “Keith!  Hey!  It’s okay…”  Shiro reach around and took Keith by the shoulder and the waist, pulling him in closer.

   “I’m… I’m fine Shiro!  I’m fine!”  The tears began to roll down Keith’s face more steadily.  His cheeks were hot and his words broken.

   “Shh…”  Shiro moved so he was sitting next to Keith.  He turned Keith in and held him close to his chest.  Keith’s hand found purchase on Shiro’s shirt and he began to cry into Shiro's hold.  Shiro wrapped his arms around Keith and held him tight.  Keith buried his face into Shiro’s chest.

   “Shhh… It’s okay… You’re okay…”  Shiro carefully pulled Keith down so they were lying beside each other on the bed.  It was barely big enough to hold them both, but Shiro didn't mind as long as Keith was close.  Keith stayed latched on with his face hidden.  Shiro let Keith cry a wet patched onto his shirt as he stroked the top of Keith’s head.

   “It’s okay… It’s okay…”  Shiro’s deep whisper rumbled in his chest.  He pressed soft kisses on Keith’s forehead whenever another wave of tears began to fall.  Keith had wormed his hands up to he held onto the back of Shiro’s shirt.

   They laid like that for some time.  The rain outside and Keith's crying were the only sounds that filled the room.  The rain steadily fell, but Keith's crying slowly faded.

   “S-Shiro?”  Keith pulled his face away from Shiro's chest just enough to look up.  The red of his eyes matched the red of his cheeks.  His lips trembled as a few more tears fell.

   “Hey… What's wrong?”

   “Please… You're not…”  Keith gripped tighter.

   “I'm not what, Keith?”

   “I… I don't…”  A few more tears started to fall from Keith's eyes.  “I don't wanna be alone.”

   “Keith…”  Shiro let Keith push his face back into his chest.  Shiro planted a kiss on the top of Keith’s head.  “I’m right here, babe.  You’re not alone anymore.”

   They stayed like that for hours, Shiro gently comforting Keith as he cried.  After a while, Keith’s crying slowed and came to a stop once he fell asleep.  Shiro let him stay close to him as he slept.  Realizing that he probably wouldn’t be able to get up any time soon (as Keith was lying firmly on his arm), Shiro nestled down and closed his eyes to sleep as well.

><><><><

   Shiro awoke to the sound of wind and rain pounding violently against the window.  The room was dark except for when a strike of lightning would illuminate everything.  Keith was still sleeping soundly beside Shiro, completely unfazed by the chaotic weather.

   “Someone’s a deep sleeper…”  Shiro carefully pulled his arm out from under Keith, sat up and stretched.  He slowly stood up and watched as Keith repositioned himself on the bed.  Shiro smiled, but soon realized his shirt was uncomfortably damp from Keith crying and drooling on it.  Shiro unbutton his shirt and took it off, leaving him wearing his dress pants and the white tank top he had on underneath his shirt.  He then headed into the bathroom that was connected to Keith’s room.

   It was a nice bathroom - very clean and organized.  There was Keith’s toothbrush in a cup, toothpaste, contacts, comb, and soap.  Everything was neatly arranged and out of the way.  Shiro walked over and hung his shirt over the shower curtain rod.  The shower was practically spotless.  The soap and shampoo bottles were setting on the shelf in a manner for easy access.  A loofa hung from the shower head.  Shiro leaned over and picked up Keith’s shampoo.

_Green apple and tea, huh?  No wonder his hair smells to good._

   Shiro replaced the bottle and went into the medicine cabinet in search of some painkillers for a head ache he felt coming on.  Inside the cabinet Shiro found rows of bottles and boxes, all facing out with the labels easy to read.  A box of bandages was next to some dental floss and a bottle of lotion, shaving cream sat next to some cologne and saline solution.  Shiro scanned the items until he found what he needed.  He pulled the painkillers out from their spot and swallowed a few with water.  As he put the bottle back, he noticed the other bottles that sat next to it.  There were a few bottles of assorted vitamins and some cold medicine, followed by a series of orange prescription medication bottles.  Each had the same information in the label - KEITH KOGANE, TAKE ONE TABLET BY MOUTH EVERY MORNING or TAKE ONE TABLET BY MOUTH TWICE DAILY, which was then followed by the name of the medication and the dosage size.  Shiro hadn’t heard of the drugs listed on the bottles.  Each bottle seemed to hold just about the same number of pills.  Shiro knew he shouldn’t be snooping in Keith’s medications, but something worried him.  He looked through the bathroom doorway at Keith who had rolled over onto his side.

    _What are these for?_  Shiro thought.  He closed the bathroom door completely and sat down on the toilet seat.  He pulled out his phone and scrolled through his contacts.

   The phone rang three times.

   “Shiro!  How’s it going?”

   “Hey Lance.”

   “Damn, you sound awful.  Are you getting sick?”

   “No.”

   “Wait, what time is it there?”

   “Uhh…”  Shiro looked at his phone.  “2:33.”

   “In the morning?  Damn, I didn’t know you were such a night owl.”

   “I’m not.”

   “Well, then what needs do you have that you would call upon Lance McClain the whole way in the great island of Cuba?”

   “It’s…”  Shiro hesitated.  “It’s Keith.”

   Lance was silent for a moment.  “Did something happen?”

   “I don’t know, he’s just…”  Shiro looked upward.  “He’s not acting himself.”

   “Did he lash out at you?”

   “No.”

   “Not return your calls?”

   “No.”

   “Not wanna make out?”

   “Lance, I’m being serious.”

   “Okay, okay…  Give the details.”

   “So I planned a date for tonight, a special one because of all the time I’ve had to work.  We ate at that new restaurant and saw a play and everything was fine.”

   “Sounds like something Keith would enjoy.”

   “That’s what I thought, but when I drove him back home he was quiet and he said that he didn’t need me to walk him to his apartment.  So I let him go but he left his phone in-”

   “He left his phone?”

   “Yeah.”

   “Very unlike him, but go on.”

   “So I turned around to give it to him, whether that meant I had to slide it under the door or something but when I got to his apartment the door was unlocked and-”

   “Did someone break in!?”

   “What? No, no… the door was just unlocked and Keith had left his coat in the floor.  So I went in and I found Keith but he… he was, uh…”  Shiro didn’t want to finish that sentence.

   “He was crying, huh?”

   “... Yeah.”

   Lance let out a sigh.  “I was afraid of that.”

   “Lance, is he going to be alright?”

   “Yeah, he’ll be fine.  He just gets down sometimes.”

   “Does it happen a lot?  Is there something I can do?”

   “I wouldn’t say this happens a lot.  He’s gotten a lot better.”

   “Lance, what are you talking about?”

   Lance didn’t speak.  “You… you don’t know?”

   “Apparently not.”

   “It’s… This isn’t my place to talk about.  Keith could explain it better when he feels comfortable.  For now, just know that you’ll need to be patient with Keith.  Make sure you’re there and he knows you care, okay?”

   “I will.”

   “Try to keep him calm and happy.  But that may not be easy.”

   “How long will this last?”

   “Could be a few days, a week maybe.  His last episode lasted, oh, two and a half weeks.  That was rough.”

   “When was that?”

   “A month ago?  A month and a half?”

   “I… But he…”

   “I know, Shiro.  He’s good at hiding it.  But the longer Keith is strong, the weaker he gets.  He’s still learning to accept that.  Say, what did you do when found him?”

   “I kinda hugged him and he cried on me so I just laid him down and we sorta cuddled while he cried and then we fell asleep.”

   “Did he say anything?”

   “Something about not being alone.”

   “And you said?”

   “Just that it’s okay and that I’m here now.”

   “That was good on your part, Shiro.”

   “Thanks Lance.”

   “Sometimes Keith isn't good at showing it, but he really likes you, Shiro.  He talks about you all the time.  He tells me the details of every date you two go on, all the special little things you do for him, whenever you text him.  He always seems to light up a little when he talks about you.”

   “Really?”

   “Yeah.  You’re good for him.  Him talking to you was a good sign.  And right now I know you probably have a lot of questions and concerns but they will all be answered in time.”

   “Alright.  And, Lance?  Can I ask you something odd and kinda personal?”

   “I guess…”

   “What are all of the medications Keith has for?  I was getting painkillers and I…”

   “To put it in Keith’s words, they’re ‘to make sure I don’t feel 100% awful 100% of the time.’”

   “Alright.”

   “Yeah, he’s funny like that.”

   “Is it okay if I look around your apartment a little?  I’ve only been in like two areas.”

   “I guess, just don’t mess anything up.”

   “I won’t.”

   “And Shiro?”

   “Yeah?”

   “Thanks for being there.  Thanks for being kind to Keith.”

   “It wasn’t a problem.”

   “That’s good.  Well, I guess I’ll see you in a couple days?”

   “Yeah.  Should I, like, stay here or?”

   “Nah, I think you can go home when you want to, just leave Keith a note.  Oh!  And I know this is going to sound weird, but make sure Keith has his pajamas on.  If you need to, like, strip him to put them on, please do, but don’t try anything!  I think his pajamas are laid over the chair in the corner.  Don’t worry about him waking up, I’m pretty sure he could sleep through a plane crash without a care.  Oh, and make sure he’s tucked into bed, okay?”

   “Are you sure I can do that?”

   “Yeah, just tell him you did.  Leave the note on the nightstand and plug his phone in.”

   “Alright, thanks Lance.”

   “No problemo.  Get some sleep.”

   “I will, see ya.”

   “Bye~”

   Shiro ended the call and stood back up.  He took notice of how everything in the bathroom was coordinated.  The teal towels matched the bath mat and the shower curtain.  The lighting fixture matched the sink and toilet.  The tiling in the shower matched the tiling on the floor.  Even the soap was a scent for the season.  Everything was spotless and folded or put away neatly.  Shiro turned off the light and went back into the bedroom where Keith was still fast asleep.  Slowly, Shiro made his way across the room to where Lance said Keith’s pajamas would be.  Lain over the back of a chair was a set of black pajamas.  Shiro picked them up and noticed how small they seemed to be.  He walked over to where Keith was sleeping and paused.

    _Lance said it was fine.  It’s fine.  Just put his pajamas on.  You’re fine._

   Cautiously, Shiro leaned down and started to unbutton Keith’s shirt.  Whenever Keith would so much as flinch, Shiro was take his hands away and wait.  After what felt like years, Shiro finally got Keith’s shirt completely unbuttoned and slowly removed it.  After, he gingerly pulled Keith into his pajama shirt and buttoned that as well.  Now came the weird part.  Shiro reached and a slowly undid Keith's belt and loosened it.  Shiro's hands hesitated over Keith's pant button.

    _It's fine, just be careful…_

   Shiro unlooped the button, took a deep breath, and began to unzip Keith's pants.  Just then, Keith made a small noise and shifted, making Shiro freeze.  He waited a moment before continuing.  Now what was the best way to actually remove his pants?  Shiro looped his fingers under the waistband of Keith's pants, making sure his cold, metal fingers didn't touch Keith's skin.  Shiro lifted Keith's hips slightly and pulled the waistband to just above his thighs, revealing a pair of magenta boxer briefs.  Shiro then went and pulled Keith's pants off by the hems.  Keith stayed asleep through the entire process, now laying on his side, his knees bent and hand under his head.  Shiro looked at Keith's pale, creamy skin and long, exposed legs.  Shiro felt something tightening in his gut.

    _C’mon Takashi, now is not the time to get aroused._

   Shiro folded Keith's clothes and placed them on the chair in the corner.  He pulled Keith's pajama pants on with much more ease.  Now for the task of getting Keith from laying on top of the sheet to under them.  Shiro pulled back the blankets on one side of the bed and then leaned down to lift Keith up.  He was difficult to pick up at first since he was essentially dead weight, but Shiro was strong enough to get him across his arms.  Shiro carefully placed Keith where the blankets were pulled back then tucked him in.  A second later, Keith nestled into the blankets and pillows and let out a small sigh.

   “Why are you so cute?”  Shiro whispered as he leaned down to put a kiss on the top of Keith’s head.  Shiro then retrieved Keith’s phone and went to the other side of the bed to plug it in.  Keith’s bedside table had few objects on it.  His lamp took up the most space, along with his alarm clock and a glass of water.  Some lotion, a small box of tissues and a stick of lip balm were setting next to each other.  Shiro walked over to the desk on the opposite side of the room in search of some paper.

   Much like everything else in Keith’s room, the desk was extremely organized.  Shiro easily found a pad of sticky notes and a pen.

_Keith,_

_I hope you’re feeling better.  You left your p_ _hone in my car so i came up to return it.  I called Lance and he said that you should sleep in your pajamas, so don’t be alarmed by the change of clothes.  You left your jacket on the floor so I hung it up and locked your door.  If you need something, give me a call or text.  It’s like 4 am now so I’ll be at home by the time you read this.  I hope you feel better.  Thanks for the nice date.  I hope it made up for all the missed ones._

_It’s gonna be okay, I promise._

_-Shiro XOXO_

   Shiro stuck the note on top of Keith’s phone and returned the pen to Keith’s desk.  Papers were neatly piled on the desk and Keith’s computer sat dark in the center.  There was a picture of Keith and Lance at a beach in Cuba, along with a photo from their graduation.  Just as Shiro was walking away, he noticed one more picture tacked up.  He could just barely see it, but it was one of him and Keith on one of their first dates.  They had gone to the pier and in the picture they were eating ice cream in front of the ferris wheel.  Keith was smiling, holding his cone of ice cream and Shiro had his arm wrapped around Keith.  That was a good memory.  That day had been fun and special for both of them.

  _Maybe we should do something fun like that again_ Shiro thought as he exited Keith’s bedroom.  He walked down the hall and glaced into a room whose door was slightly ajar.  Lance’s room, no doubt.  Posters of bands and movies, models and vacation locations lined the walls.  His bed was poorly made, and some articles of clothing were lying on the ground.  Shiro could see a bit inside the bathroom, which was filled with an assortment of bottles and jars.  Shiro walked away and made it to the main living space.  He turned on a lamp and noticed how the room was just as tidy as Keith’s room.  The magazine’s on the coffee table were neatly stacked, controllers for game consoles were lined up with the remotes.  There was a fish tank in the corner that hummed pleasantly as some brightly colored fish swam peacefully.  Shiro walked into the kitchen and poured the abandoned cup of water down the drain.  He rinsed it out with some soap and opened a cabinet labeled “CUPS  & GLASSES.”  The cups were arranged in perfect rows in size and color order.  Shiro replace the glass and took to notice that every cabinet and drawer had a small label on it.  Plates, bowls, silverware, pots, pans, cutting boards, crackers, soup, canned food, boxed food, jarred food, cleaning supplies, miscellaneous utensils, miscellaneous - everything was there.  Everything was clean and organized.  This didn't necessarily surprise Shiro, Keith always made an effort to make sure things were clean and organized.  But he didn’t expect his apartment to be so neat, especially since he lived with Lance who was not known for his organization skills.  Shiro wondered why everything was so ordered, but it didn’t really matter.  Shiro turned off the lamp, picked up his jacket and headed back outside to go home.  Keith’s apartment was once again quiet and lifeless.


	2. Keith

   Keith rode shotgun as Shiro drove him home.  It was dark out, raining just a little.  Everything outside seemed to glitter as the headlights of Shiro's car shone around.  It was quiet inside the vehicle, except for some quiet classical music.  Shiro had taken Keith on an amazing date - first eating dinner at the new restaurant Keith had been dying to try out, then going to see a play which they both loved.  Keith was thrilled to go when Shiro mentioned a special date he had planned the week prior.  Keith remembered of all the other dates that had fallen through because Shiro had had to work late and had forgotten to tell him.  Keith tried to be accepting, but waiting up just for Shiro to not show took a toll on him.  He remembered all the food that he had so carefully prepared going cold on the plate, or having to go to bed alone instead of curling up on the couch with Shiro to watch a movie.  Sometimes he started the movies, but he never had the energy to watch the whole thing by himself.

   But this evening made Keith feel special.  Shiro had cleared his schedule just so he could spend time with him, then checked to see what day would be best for Keith.  Shiro had told Keith how nice he looked when he arrived, even though Keith thought what he was wearing was nothing special.  They had gotten in the car and Shiro gave the rundown of the evening, having hid many details prior to tonight.  He had made reservations and planned all the details.  Everything was perfect.

   Now, things were not so perfect.  Up until this point, Keith was happy and full of energy, but he had felt something nagging at him towards the end of the night but tried to ignore it.  Now those feeling had caught up with.  He had no energy, no drive, no happiness.  He couldn't let Shiro know, though.  He didn't want Shiro to worry.  Keith just chose to look out the window in hopes it would make the drive go faster.  He tried so hard to hold back the shaking and the tears, but Keith was getting to the end of his rope.

   “You enjoyed the show?”  Shiro asked, startling Keith just a little.

   “Yeah...” Keith stirred slightly and continued to look out the car window.

_ Just don't look at him... _

   “Are you feeling alright, babe?”  Shiro’s voice sounded genuine, which made Keith know he cared.  But care meant worry, and worry meant stress, and stress was bad.

   “Just tired.”  Keith turned and gave Shiro a half-hearted smile before quickly looking away and back out the window.

_ He probably knows,  _ Keith thought, continuing to watch the building go by.   _ He'll start to worry… Just act fine… Act normal…  _

   After another few minutes of driving, Shiro pulled up to the front of Keith’s apartment complex.  He turned off the car engine and reached down to unlatch his seatbelt.

   “You just stay here.  I can let myself in.”  Keith spoke quickly while gathering up his jacket.

   “It’s not a big deal, it won’t-”

   “It’s fine.  I had a nice evening.”  Keith opened the car door and began to step out.

   “Keith, I should-”  Shiro made a small movement to get out of the car.

   “Just stay.  I don’t want you getting wet, it’s started to rain some.”  With that, Keith stepped out of the car and onto the sidewalk.  “Thank you, Shiro.  I’ll see you tomorrow.”

   Keith slipped on his coat and started towards his building's door.  The rain made his shoes damp.

_ Keys keys keys…  _

   Keith rifled through his pockets for his keys as he pushed the lobby door open.  Out of the corner of his eye, Keith saw Shiro still sitting in his car.

_ He knows…  He'll worry…  _

   Keith darted up the first few flights of stairs, but with each step he lost more energy.  By the time he got to the last flight, he could barely lift his feet.  He avoided any eye contact with the other tenants he passed.

_ Just get inside Keith just get inside don't let them see…  _

   Keith dropped his keys as he fumbled with the lock.  His hands were shaking.  He could feel his heart beating hard and loud in his chest.  He retrieved his keys from the ground, unlocked his door and stepped in.  He closed the door behind him and leaned against it.  His apartment was dark.  Black.  It was quiet.  Silent.  Lifeless.

   Keith slid his back down the door until he was sitting on the floor.  He took a deep breath in an attempt to calm down.  He crossed his arms on his knees and lowered his head.  He began to tremble.

_ Why me?  What did I do?  What crime did I commit to deserve this?  I thought I was getting better… Why do I feel worse?  What did I do? _

   Tears began to stream down Keith's face.

_ Why can't I do this?  And Shiro saw… What's he gonna think?  What about Lance?  He'll blame himself… It's my fault… I should be able to handle this… Why can't I?  Why?  WHY? _

__ Keith hurled his keys into the darkness, hearing them clatter to the ground with a hollow echo.  He clenched his teeth and tried to steady his breathing.

_ Breath Keith, it's fine it's fine…  _

   He stood and kicked his shoes into the corner, bracing himself on the door.  He let his coat fall off his shoulders as he walked into his apartment.  His everything shook.  Keith let his tears freely fall as he walked into the kitchen to pour himself a glass of water.

_ NyQuil… Or painkillers… Something to make me feel better… Something to help me sleep. _

   Keith dug through a drawer and found a bottle of pills.  He poured two or three into his hand and swallowed them.  He coughed and laid his head on the counter and took a few deep breaths.

_ Breath… Remember what you learned…  _

   He stood again and shook out his arms as choked sobs escapes his lips.  He felt dizzy and weak.  Keith managed to stumble out of the kitchen, down the hall, and to his bedroom.

_ Bed… Just go to bed… Sleep will help…  _

   Keith saw his bed - his haven - and walked over to it, letting himself fall forward.  He openly cried into the mattress before he turned over into his back, letting his legs dangle off the bed.

_ Why why why why?  Why me?  Why now?  Why can't I stop this?  Why didn't I notice this before?  Why did I let Shiro see?  Why do I have to feel like this? _

   “Why!?”  Keith yelled into the darkness of his room.  “I don't wanna feel like this…”

   Keith covered his eyes with his hands to wipe away some tears.  He felt angry and sad and helpless - like a child. He gathered the energy to pull himself fully onto the bed and shoved his face into the pillows to quiet his sobs.  He just wanted to go to bed and leave everything behind.

   “Keith, are you alright?  You left your-”

   Upon hearing Shiro’s voice, Keith lifted his and turned to look over his shoulder.  “S-Shiro?”

_ Shiro?  Why is he here?  What did I do? _

   “Hey, what’s going on?  Are you okay?  You left your phone in my car.”  Keith could see Shiro coming closer.  “I’m sorry for intruding.”

   “N-no, it’s.. It’s fine.  Thank you.”  Keith pushed himself up off the bed some and turned his face away from Shiro.  “I… I was going to… to sleep.”

_ Don't let him see… He doesn't want to see… He'll worry… He doesn't want to be with someone who's weak… Why am I so weak?  Why can't I do this? _

   Shiro scowled.  “In your nice clothes?”

   “I was- I just-” Keith began to tremble.

_ He knows… He saw right through you, you fool… Why can't you hide this?  C'mon Keith! _

   “Keith?  Are you okay?  It’s alright-”

   “I’m fine!”  Keith sat up and gripped the comforter.  “I’m fine!”

_ I'm fine I'm fine…  _

   “Keith-”

   “Just- just leave me alone!  I’m fine!”  Keith’s head sunk and he hid his face.  “I’m fine…”

   Keith felt Shiro sit down on the bed.

   “Keith?”

   “I said I’m fine!  Just - Just leave-”  

_ Leave leave don't leave stay stay Shiro…  _

   Keith’s shoulders began to shake and he gripped the blankets until his knuckles turned white.  He couldn't control the tears began to slide from his eyes.  He couldn't control the thoughts that raced through his mind.

   “Keith!  Hey!  It’s okay…”  Shiro reach around and took Keith by the shoulder and the waist, pulling him in closer.

   “I’m… I’m fine Shiro!  I’m fine!”  The tears began to roll down Keith’s face more steadily.  His cheeks were hot and his words were broken.

   “Shh…”  Shiro moved so he was sitting next to Keith.  He turned Keith in and Shiro held him close to his chest.  Keith’s hand found purchase on Shiro’s shirt and he began to cry into Shiro's hold.  Shiro wrapped his arms around Keith and held him tight.  Keith buried his face into Shiro’s chest.

   “Shhh… It’s okay… You’re okay…”  Shiro carefully pulled Keith down so they were lying beside each other on the bed.  Keith stayed latched on with his face hidden.  Keith pushed his face into Shiro's chest and continued to cry as Shiro stroked his head.  It was much easier to cry into Shiro than a pillow.

   “It’s okay… It’s okay…”  Shiro’s deep, rumbling voice comforted Keith.  Whenever more waves of tears would come, Shiro softly kissed Keith's forehead.  Keith had wormed his hands up so he held onto the back of Shiro’s shirt.  It made him feel grounded and safe.  At least something was a constant.

   They laid like that for some time.  The rain outside and Keith's crying were the only sounds that filled the room.  The rain steadily fell, but Keith's crying slowly faded.

_ Don't leave, Shiro… Stay… Stay forever…  _

   “S-Shiro?”  Keith pulled his face away from Shiro's chest just enough to look up.  This simple action seemed to take all the courage and energy Keith could muster.  His lips trembled as a few more tears fell.

   “Hey… What's wrong?”

   “Please… You're not…”  Keith gripped tighter.

_ He'll leave now that he's seen you like this…  _

   “I'm not what, Keith?”

_ I'll be alone again… I don't wanna be alone… _

   “I… I don't…”  A few more tears started to fall from Keith's eyes. “I don't wanna be alone.”

   Keith felt as though the world had been lifted from his shoulders.

   “Keith…”  Shiro let Keith push his face back into his chest.  Shiro planted a kiss on the top of Keith’s head.  “I’m right here, babe.  You’re not alone anymore.”

   Those were the last words Keith heard before he fell asleep.

><><><

   Keith awoke with sunlight filling his room.  He sat up in bed and looked around.  Everything was where he had left it.

   “Ugh, my contacts…”  Keith rubbed his eyes.  _ So dry… _

__ Keith rolled over and got out of bed.  He ached everywhere, noticing it more as he stretched.  Eventually, Keith wandered over to the bathroom.  He yawned and opened the medicine cabinet to find his contact holders.  He carefully took out his contacts and put everything back in their designated areas.

   “Dang Keith, you're eyes are red!”

   Keith squinted at himself in the mirror.  He pushed his cheeks around with his fingers.

   “I look like trash!”  Keith sang into the air.  “I feel like trash!”

   Keith reached back into the cabinet and retrieved his medicine bottles, shaking a pill from each of them.  He swallowed them with ease and began to brush his teeth.

_ Maybe Lance has something I can put in my eyes…  _ Keith thought as he continued to brush his teeth and look in the mirror.   _ And something for acne…  _ He picked at a spot.

   Keith finished and put everything back.  He looked to the shower and noticed a very suspicious blur of purple.

_ What is that?   _ Keith took a few steps and lifted the cloth off the curtain rod.

_ Is this my shirt?  No, it's much too big. _

__ Keith brought the shirt closer to his face.   _ It's Shiro's…  _

__ Keith sat down on the bathroom floor and closed his eyes.  The shirt was soft and smelled like Shiro's cologne.  It made Keith feel safe.

_ Shiro…  _ Keith felt his eyes water a little.  He wished Shiro was still here.   _ Still here…  _

   Keith took his face away.  This is Shiro's shirt, which means he left it here, which means he was here.  The memory of last night suddenly come flooding back - the dinner and show, then driving home and… The rest was fuzzy.  Keith remembered coming home then getting in bed then Shiro was there?  He remembered Shiro being close to him - touching him - as he fell asleep.  Now Keith was in the bathroom with Shiro's shirt.  Why had he left his shirt?  Why did he need to take it off in the first place?  Keith needed answers.

   He stood up made his way back into his bedroom.

_ I should text Shiro to tell him he left his shirt. _

   Keith tossed Shiro's shirt onto the bed and went to his desk to find his glasses.  He dug around before finding that they had fallen behind his computer.

_ Achievement unlocked: no longer blind. _

   Keith flopped back down onto his bed and rolled over to find his phone.  He grabbed for it, feeling a crunch of paper under his hand.

   “What the -”  He looked over and saw a sticky note on the top of his phone.  He leaned over and peeled it off to read it.

_ Phone… Lance… Change of clothes… _

_    Change of clothes? _

   Keith looked down at his pajamas.   _ His _ pajamas.  That's not unusual.  But when he got home he just got into bed.  He had his dress clothes on… which we now sitting where his pajamas should be.  Shiro was here, so…

   “Oh no!  Oh my gosh!”  Keith sprung out of bed.  His mind started to race, going through every possibility as to how his wardrobe change could have come about.  He saw Shiro's shirt.

   “Did… oh no… the shirt…”  Keith paced back and forth, shaking his hands in the air.  He froze.  “Did we… or… did he-!?”

   Keith fled to Lance's room in a panic.  He shut the door to look at himself in Lance's full length mirror.  He lifted his shirt and pants legs at examine his body.  Everything was the same.  There was the bruise he got while working out, and that mystery scar.  There were no signs of harm other than the ones that were already present.  He also didn't feel any sort of strong pain somewhere on his body.  Keith slowly sank to the floor and held his head in his hands.

_ Why would you think like that, Keith?  Shiro is good and kind.  He would never try to harm you.  He cares about you.  He…  _

__ Keith wiped his eyes and stood back up.  He was surprised his eyes could still produce tears considering how many times he'd cried in the past few days.  Keith walked back into his own room and retrieved the note from the ground before sitting back on the bed.

_ Jacket… locked the door… 4 am? _

   Keith smiled.   _ He must be tired… but he stayed up late for me… _

   Keith continued to read.   _ I hope you feel better… missed dates… it's gonna okay, I promise. _

   A goofy smile spread across Keith's face.  How did Shiro always know what to say?  Keith leaned over and grabbed his phone to send a text to Shiro.

K:  _ You left your shirt here. _

   He didn't get a response immediately, but that was expected.  Shiro was probably hard at work helping patients at the hospital, or maybe at the gym letting Hunk monitor and probe his prosthetic arm.  This was the perfect opportunity for Keith to crawl back into bed and take a snooze.

   But just as Keith got back into bed and shut his eyes, his phone buzzed on the table.  He picked it up and squinted at the screen.

S:  _ Sorry, I must have been too tired and forgot it.  I'll have to get it soon. _

K:  _ Do you want me to wash it?  Tomorrow is laundry day. _

S:  _ Oh no, don't worry about that.  I can do it at my place. _

K:  _ Okay _

K:  _ Are you at work? _

S:  _ Yeah, I'm on break.  Things have been a little slow.  Are you feeling better? _

K:  _ Yeah, I'm just tired.  I wanna take a nap _

S:  _ Don't forget to have something to eat. _

K:  _ I'll get something later. _

   Keith paused.

K:  _ Hey, Shiro? _

S _ : Yes? _

K:  _ Thanks for last night _

S:  _ Anything for you.  I just want you to feel alright.  You'll tell me if you're feeling bad? _

K:  _ I'll try _

S:  _ Do you want me to come over tonight?   _

K: Yeah

S:  _ I'll bring food and we can snuggle on the couch and watch a movie.  What do you want to eat? _

   Keith thought for a moment.  He had salmon last night and grilled cheese the night before.  Today he was scheduled to have leftover pasta from a few days ago for lunch, them soup for dinner.  He wasn't in the mood for pizza, or chicken… What to have… What wouldn't mess up or clash with the rest of his planned meals… 

S:  _ Do you want to have Thai?  We haven't had that in a while. _

K:  _ That would be nice. _

S:  _ The usual _ ?

K:  _ Yeah _

S:  _ I'll be there around 8.  Is that okay? _

K:  _ I'll be here _

S:  _ My break is ending.  Get some rest.  I'll see you tonight. _

K:  _ See you _

S:  _ I promise I'll show up on time and let you know if anything changes. _

S:  _ Bye~ <3 _

   Keith felt warm and fuzzy inside.  How had he gotten so lucky when it came to finding a boyfriend?  Was this some kind of karma for giving a homeless man half his lunch, or holding the door for all those little, old ladies?  Whatever it was, it meant Keith got Shiro.  He got Takashi Shirogane all to himself.  For a long time, Keith thought Shiro was too good for him - too cheerful, too responsible, too handsome and manly - just too much.  In Keith's mind, Keith was Keith - nothing special like Shiro.  Keith had to worry too much about being organized, keeping his energy up, eating at least two meals a day, and getting work done on time.  To Keith, Keith was only negatives and drawbacks, but Shiro might as well have been the son of God.  But then that fateful day came when Shiro walked up to Keith after working out and asked for a date.  After that, Keith found out how kind and understanding Shiro truly was.  He gave Keith compliments and showered him with praise every chance he got, changed plans last minute to accommodate for Keith's work schedule, and apologized profusely each time he forgot anything - from not turning onto the correct road taking Keith home, or overbooking his schedule and forgetting a date night.  But most importantly, at least to Keith, and probably to Lance, Shiro was patient.  He took things agonizingly slow for Keith, because Keith was afraid to move to fast.  Shiro was gentle and supportive when it came to Keith's fear of intimacy, and didn't question when Lance told him Keith had a lot of things Keith wouldn't tell him until he felt safe.  Shiro listened well and somehow managed to pick up on the little signs Keith gave, sometimes without knowing, when he felt a certain way or wanted something he was too shy to ask for.

   But unlike any of the other partners Keith had had, Shiro made him feel truly special.  Shiro put Keith first almost all the time.  Of course, work at the hospital often trumped everything, but Shiro introduced Keith as his boyfriend with such pride and affection.  Shiro would go to the ends of the earth is it meant Keith was happy.  He'd been told that Shiro loved talking about Keith and only said positive things.  Shiro was always there for Keith - helping him do work, comforting him when he was down, or protecting him from danger, like that one time in the locker room… That wasn't fun.  Even now, Shiro coming over last minute just to make sure Keith was doing alright.  It made Keith know that he had a special place in Shiro's life.  He had heard that Shiro wasn't a last minute guy - always wanting to know exact details ahead of time and sticking to the plan that was already made - so Keith getting Shiro to break his norm meant something.  Others saw it right away, even before they started dating.  It took Keith a while to take notice.  It might have been five for six months in when he picked up on the special behaviors Shiro had just for Keith.

   Just for him.

   Keith lied in bed and stared up at the ceiling.  He was tired, but not tired enough for one more little thing.  He leaned over and picked up his phone to text Lance.

K:  _ Have I ever told you how much I love Shiro? _

**Author's Note:**

> I should be working on my other fics.... But I'm not. Sorry.
> 
> Thanks for reading, I hope you liked it.


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